


Loosening the Knot

by raggamuffian



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Fluff and Angst, I can't say much because it all would be spoilery, M/M, One Shot, also talking about drinking/being drunk, hints of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 04:52:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7345678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raggamuffian/pseuds/raggamuffian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean had been in an off and on relationship for almost twenty years now--something between lovers and just friends. There had been girlfriends (occasional boyfriends) that tore the two apart, but they never could quite get away from each other. That doesn't stop Dean from trying to ignore Castiel this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loosening the Knot

There was a knock on the door.

Dean ignored it.

There was another knock on the door.

Dean tried to ignore it too.

There was yet another knock on the door.

They were spaced out deliberately, calmly, without any indication they would ever stop. Instead, they gave the impression that whoever was on the other side would wait patiently all night, knocking at specific intervals, until Dean finally had to open the door. There was only one person who knocked that way and, sadly, it was the person he was trying his best to avoid.

There was another knock on the door. This time Dean dragged his ass off the couch he had been lying on for the past two days. (No, he wasn't moping no mater what Jo and Sam had said.) His hand still hesitated at the door knob. He knew that you could hear a person walking in the apartment from outside. That didn't stop Dean from hoping the entire situation would decide to leave him alone.

The time passed where there should have been another knock on the door.   
There wasn't a knock.

Dean opened the door.

Somehow, it still surprised him to see Cas standing at the doorway. He didn’t raise his head, but his blue eyes peaked up between his eyelashes.

"Hello, Dean."

"Hey, Cas," Dean breathed out.

Cas shuffled his feet. His head went even farther down so that his sad, blue eyes became near invisible. "Can I come in?"

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"I broke it off with Daphne."

Dean still hesitated. Selfishness won out in the end though, so he stepped aside to let Cas in. He ran his fingers though his hair as he watched Cas shuffle into the apartment. It felt dirty. All of it. His hair was in clumps. There were empty beer bottles and only half empty take out cartons around. Then there was Cas looking especially pensive as he gingerly sat at the edge of the couch cushion. Cas in his apartment was the dirtiest thing that Dean could ever do.

Instead of kicking Cas out like he should, Dean grabbed at the now warm bottle of beer. He swallowed it all down before saying, "Just go back to your girlfriend. Tell her you made a mistake, something."

"No." It was so decide. There was no hesitation in Cas's voice. It made Dean's breath catch in his throat.

Somehow, Dean still managed to say, "I'm not a homewrecker, Cas."

"I know you're not." Short. Again, no hesitation. No out.

This time it took a few times before Dean's mouth cooperated. "We were both drunk. It didn't mean a damn thing."

Cas sighed. Actually sighed. It wasn't weird for him to sigh, but here, right now, it felt unreal. "Please sit with me, Dean."

Every part of Dean’s brain screamed at him to be smart about this, to kick Cas out, to not sit down, to anything. But his body seemed to have another idea. He sat in the middle of the couch. He was closer to Cas than he should be but not close enough to settle the itch that had found its way under his skin. Cas must have felt it too however because he was the one who inched closer. His eyes bore into Dean’s. They looked so sad. They always did, but they looked so miserable that the breath got caught in Dean’s throat. Against his will, his arms found their way around Cas’s neck. He pulled him in closer, nearly smothering himself with Cas’s neck, even as his breath struggled to escape his throat. He wasn’t allowed to cry. He wasn’t.

But as Cas’s arms wrapped around him, Dean was sure he would cry after all this was over. He always did. He always fucking did. Cas would come and give him hope, but then a few weeks, days, hours later it would be snatched away again. "We can't keep doing this. I can't handle it anymore."

"I'll always choice you, Dean."

"Would you? You chose Daphne."

"Yes, and it didn't work out because she was not you."

"What about the next Daphne then? Next Nora? Next Meg? Next Crowley? There'll always be someone."

"Dean, I'm telling you I don't want to do this anymore. I want to be with you."

"And I'm telling you that I want to believe you. I really do, buddy. I just can't."

"Who do I keep coming back to? Who do I come to if they call no matter what my circumstances are?"

"I know you were at a ring shop," blurted Dean. "You were going to marry her, so just go back to her, man. Don't make me feel like I failed you by keeping you from that.”

"I wasn't buying her a ring."

"What?"

"Reach into my pocket, Dean."

No. Just, no. Dean felt himself doing it anyway. He slipped his hand into Cas's pocket. It wasn't large, but it still took a few moments until Dean found the cool band. "Shit," he breathed as he fingered the ring. It would fit on his finger. Perfectly actually. "Aren't you supposed to go on one knee or something?"

"Would you like me too?" Cas asked seriously. Dean didn't respond quick enough, so Cas slipped out from Dean's arms and down between the table and the couch. "Dean, I know you think what we have is broken. Please let the two of us fix it together."

"Shit," Dean repeated. He flipped the ring around in his finger. There wasn't a mark on it. He didn't know what it was that he was searching for anyway. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“I believe the custom is to say yes or no depending on if you want it or not.”

A laugh bubbled out of his mouth. It felt like bile. “How do I know you’ll stay?”

“Tie me to a chair. You can even break my legs if you need to.” Cas slipped the ring onto Dean’s finger. It did fit as perfectly as Dean thought it would.

Dean stared down at it. It caught the dim light in the room. For some reason, that was what made his heart hurt the most. “Can-Do you have a ring too?” Cas pulled one from the back pocket of his pants. It was similar but a little thinner, smaller. Dean felt the weight of it in his palm a moment. It was more substantial than it looked.

His hand trailed down Cas’s arm until he reached Cas’s hand. He lifted it up and slipped the ring on Cas’s finger much like Cas slipped a ring on Dean’s.

“Yeah,” Dean whispered. “Yeah.”


End file.
